tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post3279225785759606212..comments2023-05-17T01:18:54.538-07:00Comments on Our Own: Choosing Not to be OffendedLorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553145979283388517noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-83616156201948169022007-10-31T13:12:00.000-07:002007-10-31T13:12:00.000-07:00Two things. A woman who flies half way across the ...Two things. A woman who flies half way across the world to adopt a child of another race, seems as much or more of a mom than one who gives birth from her own womb. <BR/><BR/>Second: letting things go. My brother-in-law's father married hastily, after his first wife died. It ended in a bitter divorce. He's still angry and resentful. It's so hard to watch. It WAS a horrible thing. But his bitterness is eating him alive. I heard a woman define forgiveness this way: forgiveness doesn't mean what happened to you was OK. It's never OK. Sin cost Jesus his life. But it does mean letting go of the right to get revenge. LettingGod deal with it. Then we go to the cross and grieve it out. The best thing my sponsor ever ordered me to do was to pray for my ex. Pray that God blessed him and gave him what he needed. It freed me to go on living.Susan Isaacshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03091876617022681671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-88282858674543397162007-10-27T17:27:00.000-07:002007-10-27T17:27:00.000-07:00Just be sure to keep writing all those unthoughtfu...Just be sure to keep writing all those unthoughtful words down so that you can talk to your kidlet about it before it's heard on the playground, in the grocery story or in daycare :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-79506967646311985012007-10-24T12:04:00.000-07:002007-10-24T12:04:00.000-07:00Here here! Nice to hear, dear.DukerHere here! Nice to hear, dear.<BR/><BR/>DukerAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-46936888070013773042007-10-24T07:21:00.000-07:002007-10-24T07:21:00.000-07:00Love your approach! I've been reading the same bo...Love your approach! I've been reading the same book and have formed many opinions based on each story. We've received some dumb comments, but like you say, never malicious. It will be curious to see what it's really like when we bring Zoe home. We're up for the adventure!Drew Carey Showhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06007515477570857582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-28967084168929152192007-10-24T06:50:00.000-07:002007-10-24T06:50:00.000-07:00Good job, Lori! BTW keep practicing, your kids wi...Good job, Lori! BTW keep practicing, your kids will handle things the way you do. I'm learning that the hard way right now. (read-my little Shelby) It's easier to learn how to do things when little eyes aren't watching and little mouths aren't yet able to repeat!! I'm praying for you.<BR/>(((hugs)))<BR/>CeliaCeliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07352854913310220287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-71551942522890786132007-10-24T06:27:00.000-07:002007-10-24T06:27:00.000-07:00amen and amen.amen and amen.Janahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14639903193368926508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-71069224629079874722007-10-23T19:55:00.000-07:002007-10-23T19:55:00.000-07:00You are extremely wise!May the Lord bless you and ...You are extremely wise!<BR/>May the Lord bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-11081326376990218422007-10-23T15:11:00.000-07:002007-10-23T15:11:00.000-07:00You handled it VERY Well! Even when I know in my ...You handled it VERY Well! Even when I know in my heart that someone is saying something out of ignorance and that they most likely are not trying to be malicious....I still have the strong desire to correct them.. I may not always correct them to their face, but definitely correct them later when re telling the story to Josh.:)Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13210779824335611836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-18249761333541524902007-10-23T15:03:00.000-07:002007-10-23T15:03:00.000-07:00I haven't been too offended before, or after the a...I haven't been too offended before, or after the adoption, mostly for the reason you mention -- Most people don't intend to hurt, and they're not familiar with appropriate adoption language. Why should they be, they don't think about it like we do! It will be different when our children are conscious of what's being said, and asking for grace is a good idea!erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08255871365165221381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-87639466305283592642007-10-23T14:17:00.000-07:002007-10-23T14:17:00.000-07:00I agree. You did well.When I first read it, I rea...I agree. You did well.<BR/><BR/>When I first read it, I read it like real mom as in "you don't have the 9 months of belly". I say she was truly trying to relate the fact that everyone is different in how they prepare. She was just trying to tell you that it's okay not to be 100% prepared. Not all of us are/were/will be. I didn't read her comment to be mean. I only pray that my words (either spoken or typed) are never hurtful to you or any one else. That's not where my heart is!!!<BR/><BR/>:) Bless you, Lori! You have a great heart!! And you sound like you're oooozing grace!<BR/><BR/>StephAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-5353211538070971762007-10-23T12:42:00.000-07:002007-10-23T12:42:00.000-07:00Oh, I think you really hit on something here. Ear...Oh, I think you really hit on something here. Early on when we were trying to get pregnant, trying to adopt and then new adoptive parents, I was hyper-sensitive to the words people choose. And almost nobody can say the right thing. <BR/> <BR/>It is so important to hear the intent behind someone's words, so much is harmless and carelessness, not intentionally hurtful. Most people mean well.<BR/><BR/>Well done on showing your grace.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-65408399333937109612007-10-23T12:12:00.000-07:002007-10-23T12:12:00.000-07:00I am glad that you were able to offer grace and kn...I am glad that you were able to offer grace and know that there was no mal-intent in her words. I have found that I am really not too bothered by the things that I know so many adoptive mother are...there is a sensitive place in my heart and I will grind you to a bloody pulp if it is mean spirited or intentional, but when it is just wording or ignorance it kinda rolls off my back. Now, when we actualy have our son here with us perhaps my motherly instinct will rise to the occasion but for now - no worries. <BR/><BR/>Loved this post!Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05820555950707808783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2877454090421566197.post-37504937607605780342007-10-23T10:51:00.000-07:002007-10-23T10:51:00.000-07:00Bravo, Lori! I applaud your willingness to make a...Bravo, Lori! I applaud your willingness to make a conscious choice to let this go. I think your overall interaction with this woman probably did much more than anything you could have said to educate her on correct terminology to promote the heart of adoption. I am trying to learn to do the same in those touchy places in my own heart. Sometimes I fail miserably but I like myself and the world better when I am able to show some grace, & give people the benefit of the doubt. I also know how capable I can be of saying the wrong thing (did it just this morning) and I always hope my intention shows through the stupidity of my words. <BR/><BR/>PVZAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com