Monday, December 17, 2007

As We Wait...

We were sent this weekend through some family member I've never met a blog of someone they know who've adopted from Ethiopia, and looking at their photos of them home with their child, I got this longing ache. It physically hurt. I guess this is what comes upon entering the magical 3-5 month period we were told it would take for our referral to come. Until last week, I hadn't let myself think about it, knowing that it was too early. But now...it could happen anytime, and that ache is a real killer. I sent an email this morning to another Waiting Mom with the subject line simply "Sigh."

This is my prayer. I wish I could take credit for having written it because I think it's the best blessing I've heard...maybe ever.

"May all your expectations be frustrated. May all your plans be thwarted. May all your desires be withered into nothingness that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God who is Father, Son, and Spirit. Amen."

Let go, let go, let go. Thank you, Jesus, for Brennan Manning's spiritual mentor, the author of this blessing. Thank you for our friends Nan and Dave who sent us to these retreat talks. Thanks for loving me as I am, not as I think I should be. Thank you for "Me and My Arrow," roasted pecan dip on snow peas, and Full Sail Wassail. Thanks for giving Blind Kitty a home. Thanks for giving me a man who cries at Will Smith movies. Thank you for friends who forgive me when I forget to call them back and thank you for blogger.com and the friends I've found there.

Thank you for our baby(s), wherever he/she/they may be.

Sigh.

10 comments:

Mel said...

I am sighing right there with you friend. Your faith and ability to find peace and thankfulness in a peaceless time is inspiring. Your faith seems so rock solid. I am so honored to be a part of your life and have you in mine.
Stay strong love.

the albertsons said...

Me too. Sigh. sigh. sigh. I'm ready now. I was like you... you were like me. We weren't thinking about it... it wasn't bothering us. I guess it's the "12th week syndrome"... it finally got us. For me, this means I'm vulnerable. Darn! But, I've decided I'm willing to wait longer, much much longer, so that I can see you and a few others get referrals first. I just really want to see you get a referral! So I'm hoping and praying with you!
Hang in there!!!
becca

the albertsons said...

PS- I might have to post that quote on my blog when I get the chance. I LOVE it. it's perfectly real.

HeidiD in CT said...

I think that the referrals must be coming soon b/c I've been crying on everyone's blog today! We're thinking of all of you waiters and praying that your Christmas miracles come before Santa does. Hang in there!

PVZ said...

Lori: May sound odd, but I am happy for you for the ache in your heart. May we be able to pray that prayer with a believing heart. Beautiful words.

Pattie

Drew Carey Show said...

Okay, if Heidi is crying, it must be time! We know the ache, and we're anxiously awaiting along side you for your referral!!!

Stephanie said...

I'm praying for you, my friend!

A Memory Each Day said...

sigh. ugh. so true. I'm impatiently waiting for you, so at least you know you are not alone.

And, you know the wait will be worth it! That's the good news.

Courtney Rose said...

Beautiful write-up.

I wonder if being prayerful and thoughtful (one in the same, 'eh?) regarding the things we are thankful for can, indeed, help us re-center.

You know I'm here in the very beginnings, but my heart sings and aches as I read about folks who are almost at the point of picking up their child. Or have already been there. At times I've wondered if I should quit reading other blogs because there are so many steps that I still need to take. What are the right answers???

Continue to bring in the peace....

sandee lvglvk@yahoo.com said...

Enjoyed your posting...thank you for posting the blessing my Brennan and your words afterwards. I am feeling so down on myself this morning. The "meanies" get a hold of me sometimes and come out..and I am apalled at myself, Feeling I cannot turn to Jesus..I am too mean.....and your words "loving me as I am, not as I think I should be"...touched me. Maybe there is hope.

Blessings to you and your little Rooney.