Funk. New year's funk.
Abe has been wearing his Halloween pajamas since last night, today under his clothes since it's so cold right now. My friend loaned me her ear warmer thingee for my head, so I went out for a "run" this morning, despite the funk.
All holiday decorations were put away last night, everything except the many cards and photos that I can't bear to take down yet from the dining room built-ins where they are currently taped up.
I started reading an apocalyptic zombie novel set in Manhattan, left over from the book exchange party we hosted New Year's Day. This might not help my funk. Or maybe it will.
Tonight, Abe found some yarn that one of our neighbors had given him. For almost an hour, he sat in the kitchen with the yarn and a pair of scissors, concentrated, cutting. He said, "Mom? I'm making a scarf for my sister. Just for my sister. Is that nice?"
"Yes, Abe, that's really nice."
"Well, actually, it's a sweater, not a scarf."
Abe is ready for his sister to get here. We are too. It feels a long way off though. Sometimes life in general feels like a struggle and the weight of it is...well, heavy.
We have joy, but also funk.
I've been listening to this song over and over, hoping it'll convince me. Right now, it just makes me cry.
The winter's cold,
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees.
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know,
That all will be well.
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell,
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well.