Apple-fart!

I'm sure most people reading this blog have already seen this popular clip, but here it is anyway. It's a little girl figuring out why mom is laughing at her use of the word "ask," illustrating perfectly the need to censor our cuss-words in front of kids.

We've had a hard time deciding on a winner for this competition. There are so many good ones. "God bless America" reminds me of how my Granny and her sister, who we all call "Sister" despite her being our aunt, both say "Well, misery" in this long, drawn-out way. They also both say "Land forever!" I have no idea what that means, but they say it all the time.

I had been leaning towards "fart-hole" until Ted pointed out that one might not want their kid saying this. I also really like "son of a chicken liver" and "go blow it out your foot." I've actually already said the latter once this weekend. Ted really liked "farfegnugen" but we both admitted that it's sort of hard to pronounce, especially in a pinch when something else might slip out more easily.

"Piles of arse" is wonderful, reminds me of pirates and could give a nice, satisfactory "aaarrrr" sound.

The winner though, for being a nice combination of wholesome and nasty, and something we wouldn't mind our kids saying is: Apple-fart. Great job on that one, Rusty. It's especially funny if you are able to conjure up a mental picture of an actual pretty red apple letting one rip. How wonderful would it be if each time you pulled the stem out, the apple would let one out? As Ted says, "It's like the stem was holding the fart in and we get to uncork it." (one thing any Rooney kids will never miss out on is indulgence in bathroom humor--at least at home. Don't worry: we plan on teaching them how to behave in public. You can still invite us over for dinner, really. But come on--who of you who has seen Robots didn't laugh at Aunt Fanny?).

This is what Ted was doing with that wig. We have entirely too much time on our hands, people.