But I can't even get through the Sunday paper these days. I have yesterday's Oregonian plus not only last week's New York Times but the week before that sitting there staring at me in our dining room, untouched and alone. How do I think I'm going to make it all the way through an entire book? This is definitely one way that it becomes pretty easy to become entrenched in Kid-land. There's just so little time for reading, and the last movie I saw was Nanny Diaries, which was showing on our flight to London to bring Abe home.
I'm not saying anything new here. There are just a lot of realities I've heard my whole life that have suddenly become visceral and real. Not having time for much of anything is one reality. Another reality is that we tell our friends "funny" stories about poop. Yesterday over Sunday lunch with friends, Ted was even doing an impression of the faces Abe makes when he poops. Deep thoughts there.
Probably the biggest reality I've heard but not grasped fully until becoming a mom is how the world truly does start to feel different when you have this little person in your care who is going to be here after we're gone. The one article I had time to read last week in the NYTimes Magazine was about global warming, and it freaked me out like never before. Oh boy. What world are we passing on? Again, a cliche. But again, it's true.
Finally, there's the sweeping love that seems to engulf me when I look at Abe, a love I'd never understood before. Yesterday while feeding Abe, we were listening to a playlist I'd made for a friend with songs about motherhood, etc. Abe likes to clap when I sing, so I kept trying to get out those Dixie Chicks lines about, "How long do you wanna be loved? Is forever enough? Is forever enough?" and my face just started contorting into ugly-faced crying mode as I looked at this face in front of me, a face bewildered by my crying, a face belonging to a boy who just wants to clap so can't you stop crying, Mom? Geez.
*And finally, for those two of you who are just dying to know the translation to "Jozin z Bazin," here you are. My friend Joko helped out with these because somehow I never managed to use words like bog and strangle.
We sent one of these photo books for Abe back when we were waiting for court, and I put in a photo seen here of Ted's big brother and sister (there are nine Rooney siblings in all, and they don't make plastic baby albums that big). I realized this weekend how great it is that Abe has now met his Uncle Steve and Aunt Alice. Both Steve and Alice are nurturers, as can be seen in these pictures:
1. I drive a Skoda 100 to camp here on Orava
So I hurry, take a risk and go through Morava
The monster lives there, comes out of the bog
Eats mostly citizens, its name is Jozin (Joseph)
Chorus: Jozin from the bog creeps through swamp
Jozin from the bog gets closer to the village
Jozin from the bog sharpens its teeth
Jozin from the bog bites, strangles
To defeat Jozin from the bog, who could imagine,
only works a plane with manure (white powder)
2. I was driving through the village on the road to Vizovice
The village mayor greeted me and said to me while
drinking Slivovica (plum brandy)
'The one who will bring Jozin dead or alive
gets my daughter and half of the National Agrarian Farm
Chorus: Jozin z bazin...
3. I said: 'give me a plane and powder, mayor,
I'll bring you Jozin, I see no trouble with that',
The Mayor helped me. In the morning I went up in the sky
The powder from the plane fell prettily on Jozin
Jozin from swamp is totally white now
Jozin from swamp is running away from the mud
Jozin from swamp ended up on the rock
Jozin from swamp will meet his end here"
I got Jozin from swamp, now I hold him in my hand
A bit of money is always nice, so I will sell him to a ZOO
And there you have it! Pretty cool story. Just because I
think Martin and Honza are cute singing this, here's their
version of "Jozin z Bazin." Then I promise: no more of
this song. Ted is already thanking me for cursing him with
it. He can't stop singing it.