Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Reality Check

Notice the crusty right nostril in this picture? See the tiny scratches between the eyebrows from where he'd been attacking his face when he was itchy from a rash that came up at the end of his fever? This is real life. It's not all "buckets of cherries," as Stacie says.

Not long after we came home with Abe, Ted had to be out of town for almost two weeks. I thought I wasn't going to make it. The difficulty was just knowing that every diaper, every nap, every meal, every booger needing wiping was all on me, all of it, all the time. I complained about this to my friends ad nauseum (sorry guys) but not much here on the blog because I was afraid of sounding ungrateful for the place we are now in our lives, a place that we didn't come to easily.

Stacie reminded me today though of the importance of remembering not just that life isn't perfect (and certainly parenthood never is) but mostly of how much we need each other. We need the support and friendship from people who are a step ahead. Having this can make all the difference. I consider Stacie and so many other blogging moms to be in that community for me, and I thank you for your honesty. Now, go read what she had to say.


LISA said...

Lori, I know my bloggy friends have sure helped my wait for our referral.Definetly makes a difference.

Lauren said...

Thank you for your honesty. It's nice to hear the good and the not so good. I agree with you, it's life :-) God Bless!

BTW, which church do you attend in Portland? We go to Mosaic and absolutely love it. Even if it is a bit of a jaunt from our Woodstock house :-)


mama becca said...

Oh yes... it's all true! I think this is how every mother feels upon having her first child enter her life. We have one idea, and another reality happens. But it's true that every day gets better- every day your new reality makes itself at home in your attitude and your thoughts. It really does get better. I can't express to you how much more confident (not in my abilities, but in knowing that I'll survive the days!) and relaxed I am, now, after a little over 4 years of mothering. Be encouraged!

Brenda on the S OR Coast said...

You know, it's funny. I've never been a new adoptive mom, but your experience sounds exactly like mine and every other new mom's with their first baby.

Becoming a mom is OVERWHELMING! I always tell my pregnant friends to prepare for their lives to be turned completely upside down. The mental, emotional, physical, spiritual stretching is exhausting and scary.

Thankfully, this phase only lasts for a little while and then it DOES get easier!

Enjoy your sweet blessing!

Jocelyn said...

I remember before you traveled I was talking to you on the phone and venting about something...I hung up and felt really terrible because you hadn't brought Abe home yet. It bothered me for weeks. I am so relieved to read this and to know that we all go through this. It is so great having this support system!!

Cindy said...

When I had my first I felt very much the same way. I think I described parenting once as boring. Another time I described it as intense. It was a little bit of both I guess. Thanks for being willing to share. It will help many other new moms as they begin their journey into parenthood. :)

Lauren said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog :-) I sent you an email to the address on your blog. I hope it's the right one :-) God Bless!


Stacie said...

I was surprised (happily) by how many people who are still 'waiting' were glad to read about the realities. I figured most moms 'home' would relate in some sense, but it was very cool to see waiting mamas reacting to it positively. Thanks for the shout-out! You are definitely such a positive force in this community we have here.

Anonymous said...

Women need Women! I heard something on the radio today talking about women mentoring unwed mothers and thought, "EVERY mother needs someone who's been there!" Recalling my days in the cry room and everyone tuned in to Lisa Hill's every word. That's one thing washing machines took away - mom's doing laundry together and discussing child rearing. It was THE support group back in the day!! CindyC