Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Favorite non-cuss words

The adoption process is a test of patience. So many lovely adoptive parents who normally don't cuss are stretched to the limit and often tempted to let out a full-flowing stream of their favorite words. I know I've done it, especially after the incident with the nurse. Here, Ted is recreating my face after getting off the phone with the nurse.

So it got me thinking: what are people's favorite non-cuss words, the words and phrases they use to blow off steam while in the presence of small children?

Ted's is "Jiminy Christmas." Mine is "Dadgumit or "dadgummit all to the pits of hell!" if it's especially bad, but both of these sound pretty boring. A couple of Yankee pals in Slovakia used to make fun of my frequent use of "dadgummit," but I don't remember them offering any better alternatives.

Here, Ted expresses physical pain (this is some high quality acting you're seeing here, people).

So what do you think? Got any alternatives for me? Leave your favorite non-cuss word and/or expression of disgust/anger/pain in a comment. Maybe you'll even get a prize.


Anonymous said...

"God BLESS America!"

I'm going straight to h-e-double-hockey-sticks for that one.

Karen Y.

Jana said...

hey--i like your fun blog. i'm putting ya on my sidebar!

my husband and i are just starting an adoption from Ethiopia.

Anonymous said...

I, too, am a "dadgummit" type of girl. I also say "doggoneit".

I love reading your blog. It is a great read. You are in my prayers. I look forward to reading about your journey.

Stephanie (ps, still praying for your sleep to come easily)

Jill said...

I don't have anything clever, usually it's "crap" and the kids still tell me that's a bad word. : ) LOVE Ted's face in the second photo. LOVE it.

neola said...

i'd like to second Karen's "God BLESS AMERICA!"

Sometimes nonsense words like "bliggety blah" come out, too.

Anonymous said...

Is there a rule about how many one person can post? I have several I learned from my former school:

1. Bug. As in, "That girl just bugged in line." That's the kids' way of not saying "butt", which is a bad word.

2. Boo-boo. I always thought this was a scrape or cut or bruise, but the 1st week at that job taught me that it's an alternative for "poop" and it's worse cousins. I use it quite a bit. Example: "This paperwork is a pile of boo-boo."

3. Messy. An alternative for "b*tchy". Comes in handy when dealing with pre-teen girls and their drama.

4. Glow-ree-bee. Said realllly slowly so one has time to calm down and not say something else.

Anonymous said...

Boo-boo! I forgot to sign my name for thr last comment.

Karen Y.

Lori said...

I thought of one that I say regularly because it's in German and thus doesn't sound that bad to me--though apparently in Germany, it's sorta bad. The word is "shiza"; I think the equivalent in English sounds similar :) "Shiza" feels so good to say in frustration, especially if you annunciate the "shhh."

mlail said...

I often say "Oh My Heck" which I believe I adapted from my sister-in-law the school teacher.
My sister says "Oh my stars and garters!"

A friend in college with limited english skills at the time tried to cuss in the funniest forms,
"you dogs mom"
"son of a chicken liver"
"oh go blow it out your foot"
"you monkey's sister"
He was from SriLanka

Rusty Spell said...

dagwood and blondie
effin' freaker
freakin' A
god dang
god dog it
got down off my horse
hella handbag
jip hole
lovin' mother
mother freaker
mother trucker
screw a duck
wet wick

Kristi said...

I am cracking up ready everyone's entries.

The Elliott Family said...

"Oh, farfegnugen!"

It feels like a bad word when you say it, you know, with that emphasis on the f's.

I use both "Jiminy Christmas" and "dadgummit" regularly.

I don't use it as a bad word, but when you say the word "naked" with some force behind it, it could sound and feel like a bad get that satisfaction of the consonants.

Wow...I feel like I'm weird.

Anonymous said...

"Bums" is one of my favourites replacing the harsher "arse" or "utter/absolute/complete arse" - usually preceded by an exasperated "Oh ..."
"Piles of arse" is a possibility

emily said...

I too am a dadgummit girl- never knew it was so popular:)

Anonymous said...

I like "mother pus bucket."


Jason B. Bell said...

I remember there was one particular time at one band practice, where Mr. Burns got so fed up with something that it took him several seconds to angrily spit out a "d-d-dad... gummm... ittttt" at us, visibly and audibly struggling with fighting back saying something far, far worse. :)

My favorite Pearl band director non-cuss moment though was when Mr. Cannon angrily called us a bunch of "cool pop drummers." I remember that strange term being joked and laughed about for a good long while...

Susan Isaacs said...

I still like FUBAR. F'd up beyond all recognition. Or "go fog yourself." But apple-fart. now that's original. Sounds like something on an Alabama diner dessert menu.

Susan Isaacs said...

I'm also lobbying for the return of "poo." I remember Eddie Izzard explaining why supermarkets put flowers and fruit at the entrance of the store. If they stocked it with toilet paper, people would walk in thinking, "this store is all about poo!"

Sarah Bradford-Burton said...

I really love "son of a biscuit".

Anonymous said...

Loving Jason B's reference to Mr. B and Mr. C.!! I can hear them now - I have 2 current Pearl Drummers.

The family has a new ban on "sucks". However, "Forcefully inhales" is permitted, although it takes much more effort. It just so happens, this is another one accredited to Mr. Cannon as of late. :)