Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Surprised by the giddy dancing butterflies in my stomach as we hide eggs in our neighbor's living room, knowing the kids were all downstairs waiting in the basement. We let them in. They run around. I want Abe to find them all. I tell myself to chill out. The joy is too much. The kids sit amongst the spoils of their hunt, eating chocolate and skittles and posing for photos all wearing their ring pops. I snuggle on a big chair with the two little boys to watch Finding Nemo while the big girls give make-overs to the willing adults.

That was Saturday.

We dress in our Sunday clothes. Abe opens his Easter basket, experiences the fun of a pez dispenser and eats chocolate before breakfast. We drive to a shabbily lovely church near the river. We come late so end up on the front row. I listen to the music but don't sing along. The African American woman sitting behind me shouts "A to the men!" at her favorite parts of the sermon. I smile every time. The half-white, half-black pastor preaches his guts out.

These words are sung and I'm fighting back sobs:

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. Oh, how I love Jesus. I do. I really do.

Abe tells us, in utmost seriousness, on our walk to the car what he learned in church that morning, "Jesus loves me. He got hurt. There was a roller*. He's still hurt. He not get better." At some point a discussion of the resurrection is in our future. Since his uncle's car wreck a week ago, Abe has been very concerned with anyone getting hurt.

From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny. I usually don't live like I believe it. I'm working on that one.
*I think he's talking about the stone that served as a door to the grave, the one that was rolled away.


mama becca said...

that is my very, very favorite song. and I cannot stop the tears when we sing it in church. Cry every singly time.
tell abe i'm sad when people get hurt, too. hope all your hurt people are healing quickly.
happy easter rooneys :).

Gretchen said...


Jill said...

happy easter rooneys. love the lamb on the motorcycle.

Susan Isaacs said...

In Christ Alone may be the only modern worship song that always makes me cry. I love it. I also love "beautiful scandalous night." But yeah, those words you quoted. Caught up in the most beautiful love story ever.

Eryn said...

mmmm, I love that one too.

I have this amazing friend, Heidi. She is a deep thinker, I think you might like her blog. You two kind of remind me of each other. http://rushartist.wordpress.com/2010/04/05/easter-reflections/

kn said...

I loved reading this. I want to write like this. Get all of life in a few words. Beautiful. Thank you.

Rebecca said...

Beautiful song. Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.

jen said...

for I am his, and he is mine...