A Rooney Christmas

Because of the awful weather for the first two or so weeks in December, we had the chance to hang out with our neighbors a lot. During the summer, we tend to congregate in the street for all the kids to play, but we usually don't see so much of each other when the weather gets wet. It was a lot of fun during the holidays to meet up for impromptu sledding gatherings and visit each other's houses for "Winter Solstice" parties and a "Fishmas" party (yes, it was fish-themed).

I found it funny that when we walked into the Fishmas party, the gaggle of kids already there ran up to us to whisk Abe away while shouting to the host, "Abie is here! Abie is here!" Ted and I, as parents and grown-ups, are officially invisible to the neighborhood kids. It's all about the Abie-baby.

At this same party, I ended up in the kitchen with two other moms and got to experience for the first time the excitement all parents feel about preparing gifts for their kids. The party was on the 23rd, so these two moms were whispering excitedly about all the last-minute things they had to do to get ready for Christmas morning. From a birds' eye view, we were three heads pushed together, conspiring over cups of fizzy blackberry holiday ale. Of course, I got teary, aware of the moment, thankful for being a part.

On Christmas Eve, we hosted an impromptu gathering of the Portland family since everyone was snowed in. We went to a Christmas Eve service and then met at our house for food and drink, most importantly, this Christmas miracle that Ted brought:

Ted had stopped by a neighborhood liquor store for rum for the eggnog and found Becherovka, my beloved Czech herbal liqueur. Mm, mm, mm. It has been very difficult to find this in the U.S., so I am officially thrilled that a continuous supply is in walking distance to our house.

The good thing about having the people around is the constant supply of book readers for Abe. Here, Chris reads Abe his new book from Aunt Annie and Uncle Paul. Thanks, guys!

Abe has no idea what presents await him, doesn't even get the concept of presents, but no matter: he's ready to get this show on the road.

Christmas morning, Ted tries on his new PJs. Abe much prefers the Grinch to Santa. Santa is bad, bad, bad. Abe has major Santa-issues, does not like him one bit.

After opening all his retro fischer-price toys from us, the big prize is brought out: the rocking horse from Granny.

And somehow, on cue, it started snowing again in the afternoon, so thick that getting pictures was difficult.

Everyone came back over for a big Christmas Day dinner. Here, Ted is telling the story about the day he fooled his poor mother into thinking he'd joined a cult. It is truly a great story. I should've recorded it.

I'll leave you with this clip of Abe on his new "woah-woah" (phone) rocking out to Bob Dylan singing "This ole Man" from a CD my mom sent.

Oliver!

I watched Oliver! the other night for the first time and rank this up there with Fiddler on the Roof, my favorite musical. I stayed up until 1am, well after everyone else had gone to bed, to finish it. This song broke my heart. It's in the first half hour of the movie, and even with Abe up and running around the room, it was taking all I had in me to hold it together during this song.

Will I ever know the sweet "hello"
That's meant for only me?
Who can say where she may hide?
Must I travel far and wide?
'Til I am bedside the someone who
I can mean something to ...

...and seriously, my husband was born to play the role of Fagan...

Another Year, Another Self-Flogging

I started out this year's birthday festivities by celebrating the sinking feeling that came at midnight by going to bed and writing down all the things I hate about myself. Of course, one thing on my list is that I am half-empty. There were many other things, like how selfish, lazy, drifting, and distracted I can be. I am too sensitive, get my feelings hurt too easily, care about ridiculous things that I should be able to let go of. This list filled two pages. Writing it all down helped me somehow to fall asleep.

I woke up, came downstairs, made coffee, piddled, logged in to facebook. Ted wished me happy birthday (he's always up way before I am). I saw that I had 43 "new notifications" on facebook. I started crying. Ted sat down on the floor by my chair and put his head in my lap while I cried.

Pathetic, no?

I wasn't crying over being another year older. I was crying because I felt overly-blessed. The self-loathing kicked back into hyper-drive, and I thought, "Who are these people wishing me happy birthday? Don't they know these gross things about myself I so meticulously wrote down last night?"

Lest you think I am clinically depressed: I am now fine. I even managed to have fun today. But I think the mood started the night before, Christmas evening, when my sensitivity to noise kicked into overdrive, and I had to run away, not from my family, but from the noise they have every right to make--especially on a boisterous holiday like Christmas--so that I could take in the quiet of our snowy neighborhood for a half-hour by myself. Lori the Introvert was hoping to recharge the batteries by walking by herself in the snow. Except. I just ended up kicking myself for not being able to take it, for being weak, for being selfish, for not doing more with my life, for letting opportunities fly past me, for so often choosing comfort over charity, for constantly failing at being the person I want to be...

I almost always fail at resolutions. The one I tried to keep last year was to remember people's birthdays. But I didn't. I so admire my friend Stephanie who remembers, not just your birthday, but also your brother's--the one she's never met--and all three of your cats' to boot. For a while, she had a sign hanging in her kitchen saying "Live Your Values." No point in talking about them if you're busy doing them. That's how I feel about resolutions. I'd rather just do them than talk about them.

I'd also rather live my values than talk about them. But I fail so often at living my values. And this is what I was beating myself up about last night and this morning. I was inspired by the many well-wishes from people all over the place who know me a little or a lot, all who took the time to wish me well. What a seemingly little thing to tell someone, "Happy Birthday!" But today, for me, the big collective Wish from those I love inspired me to forgive myself a little bit. This group of people lived my value for me, my failed resolution from last year to remember birthdays. They remembered mine in spite of my failure, failure both to remember theirs and all my other many many many failures in general. It felt kind of redemptive.

Is that crazy? Am I overthinking this? Maybe. But I was inspired today not to focus on all the ways I have failed. I simply want my mantra this year to be, "Lori, Live Your Values."

I know, I know, enough with the introspective crappola. Where are the pictures of Abe opening presents? They're coming.

Merry Christmas from the Rooneys!

Our world now...in action!

Despite being pretty much housebound (okay, not driving, but doing lots of walking around the neighborhood), life is feeling pretty good. It's definitely never felt more like Christmas than right now.

Something we love about Abe is that he is not easily frustrated, as evidenced here:


This video is from Sunday:


And the same hill today, after a few more inches of snow. Not as exciting:


So to make things more interesting, everyone started sledding down the public staircase:

Snow Week

What our world looks like right now:

Referral Day Anniversary

It was almost exactly this time a year ago that I was sitting at the computer, enjoying the quiet morning, when just after 9:00am, Mary from Gladney called with the news about a little boy named Abenezer. Together, Ted and I tried our best to listen to the information Mary was telling us while we looked at pictures like this one:
He seemed so fragile, so small. I'd told myself from the beginning of the process that I was not going to get attached until we'd passed court.

Yeah, whatever.

I still so admire those who can pull this off. But I couldn't. It was impossible for me, and what a gut-wrenching three months were ahead of me...little did I know.

A year ago today, now to this:What an unbelievable year. Love, love, love. Thank you, my dear friends in this community, for caring, for giving support and love, comments galore, packages mailed and prayers. In case you missed it, our referral day post is here.