Recent goings-on round here:
I keep having dreams about babies, sometimes about poopy babies and sick babies and snuggly babies that are the size of newborn kittens. In one part of last night's dream, the kitten-sized baby was being sat upon by Chitty, our fat cat. I panicked, running to shoo fat-cat away and get the squished baby (he ended up being fine, even smiled at me). Why can't I just have normal dreams? Is there even such a thing?
Some friends are throwing a donations-shower for us Sunday to help us gather together all the goodies we want to bring with us to Ethiopia. I'm hoping we can even get everything all packed up and ready to fly.
I'm checking email obsessively for new pictures of Abenezer some good folks said they'd send our way...just dying to get those, finding it hard to believe that patience is a virtue (I know they're super-busy right now, picking up their own daughter and getting settled in).
Two nights ago, during an attempt to learn to play bridge, I had a mild meltdown. My brain couldn't take it, and while the two experts were explaining the subtleties of the game at once while I was still trying to get the basic point, this lump started rising in my throat triggering tears that I willed myself to force back, repeating in my mind, "You must not cry, You must not cry. It's just a game, Don't cry!" Luckily, my cell phone started to ring, so I escaped tearful humiliation with a 30 minute phone call. My friend who had called advised me to go have a strong drink of whatever the bridge-players were offering. This is why I like her so much. But such is the state of my mind these days; thinking about our upcoming court-date this Friday and all the things to get done in the next couple of weeks, I cry over card games.
Last night, as Ted and I sat on the couch around 1:00 am drinking our Kirkland brand, Costco-bought "champagne" after returning from a New Year's Eve gathering, I got a serious case of the hiccups (a regular occurence). So all at once, I was hiccuping, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, and burping--thanks to the bubbly. That was fun, maybe the best part of our New Year's.
We canceled our annual holiday book-swap party where I make pots of soup and everyone brings a book they don't want anymore to trade with other guests. This would have been our fourth year to do it. We canceled because this is what our kitchen looks like today:
And here is the view down from where the kitchen sink used to be into the basement laundry room.
The living room and dining rooms are full of our yet-to-be-installed cabinets. Not the best time for a party. Probably not the best time to start a kitchen remodel either (though in our defense, we started this project back before Thanksgiving when we didn't think we'd hear about Baby Abe until well into 2008). We're hoping it gets done before we leave for Ethiopia. I'm choosing not to worry about it, just like I chose to shove down the bridge-induced tears.
And lordy lordy, I'm not even thinking about resolutions...
love the kitchen demolition. will be such fun to see the new BIG kitchen.
I'm watching some program on opb right now while I put my Chrstimas stuff away and the speaker (talking about the Tao) said that the opposite of control is trust. Love that.
Trust that it will all work out. How can it not?!
Also, someone once told me that worrying is like praying for the wrong thing to happen. Not that I have this figured out, but a good reminder in the midst of big stress.
Hugs to you. And wishes for peaceful dreams!
as soon as I typed this last comment, I felt like I was being preachy. like, do this, don't worry. that's not my intention.
thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings as you go through this. i really appreciate your willingness to be open and vulnerable.
you are going to be an awesome mom.
This is what your pictures made me think- "holy crapola." And crapola is NOT holy. ;-) Wow. Just breathe. And breathe. And breathe. And keep drinking beverages that help you breathe. And keep talking to those friends who remind you of who you are. And then remember the only thing one can do is to continue taking those steps forward... one step at a time.
I can't wait to see more pictures of sweet baby Abe (a nickname that I've been thinking about when it comes to thinking about you and yours)!
Good luck tonight with the Biggest Loser. I've been thinking about popping in "My Life." How depressing is THAT?
I guess I should have rephrased my post about turning 32...32 isn't old...but I feel old. Is that better? :)
I can't believe the kitchen remodel. When you described it on the phone...I thought it was a big deal...but it really is a BIG deal. I can't wait to see the finished product. You will have to remember to post a picture of it finished.
I am feeling a little anxious now too. I am have been doing so good since we got Nathan's referral. But, just today the reality that court is just 3 days away really set in.
Heres to breathing and a bit of drinking :)
You are a funny lady! I've been crying too at random things during this waiting period... I think my family/friends have suggested various forms of alcohol as well :). And, our kitchen is a bit torn up right now too, so find peace in knowing your not alone!!! Remodeling ourselves... smart? probably not.
Praying for your court date!!!
I can't even imagine what this stage of the waiting feels like. I am already anxious and close to tears often enough. I am praying for all of you waiting for court! Natalie
Oh my gosh, no wonder Ted needed to buy a truck! I apologize in advance because when I saw the kitchen photos I kind of laughed. I am always amazed at how it seems like we have these phases where everything happens at once. Seems like only a few months ago I was sitting with you having tea and you were saying not a lot was going on in your life. This is what made me laugh. What an amazing family you will be. As Carolee and I like to say to one another "it's going to be messy." By your words it sounds to me like you are finding God, and joy and love in the mess, which in my book makes you great Mom material.
p.s. Trying to learn chess makes me cry, don't know why but it boggles my brain.
Lori, have y'all decided what y'all are going to call him and/or what his full name will be?
Good luck in Addis!
ps i'm so glad you had fun shopping and I agree consignment stores are THE best!
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